MGS3: Snake Eater The Lost Interview!
by SamandMax
Summary: In July 2003, a reporter disappeared after conducting an interview with MGS creator Hideo Kojima. A few days later, his footage was found.


MGS3: Snake Eater- The Interview You Were Never Meant to See  
  
Note: This interview was pulled out of a crashed jet in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Some say Hideo Kojima had it destroyed, some say the jet ran out of fuel. Either way, the following interview is highly controversial, and you were never meant to see it!   
  
Questioner- Hello. Is this thing on? Test 1-2-3.  
  
Hideo- Come on, get on with it. I have to go make another 8 Metal Gear games within the next three weeks.  
  
Questioner- Ok. I'm here with Hideo Kojima, famed developer, and stuff of games like Metal Gear Solid, That Huge Robot Game that no one liked, and Hello Kitty 9: Hello Kitty goes to Summer Camp. Today, we're talking about MGS3: Snake Eater.  
  
Hideo- Yeah. Whatever.  
  
Questioner- Now, what prompted the change of environment from close-quarter battles, to wide-outside areas?  
  
Hideo- Uh, good question. I was walking outside, and I thought to myself "Hey, I bet you Solid Snake goes outside, wouldn't it be awsome if the game took place outside!". When I first went to the team, they were skeptical. No one had ever made a game that took place outside before. That was a pretty risky subject. But I think we pulled it off.  
  
Questioner- Now, there are rumours that this game takes place in the 1960's, is this true?  
  
Hideo- I can't tell you, because I don't want to ruin it, but yes, it does.  
  
Questioner- Uhhh...you just did tell us.  
  
Hideo- No, I didn't. I just said it take's place in the 1960's.  
  
Questioner- Um....ok. Now, is it true you and your team actually learned survival techniques by actually going into the jungle with a real army official?  
  
Hideo- Yes. That was the worst week of my life. We were captured by rogue militia, taken back to the base, where we horrendously tortured and beaten. Actually, now that I think of it, it was pretty funny. This one time, my captor, he dropped the scalding hot poker he was about to jab into me. Hahahaha, good times.  
  
Questioner- Let me ask about the title. Snake Eater? I mean, what the hell?  
  
Hideo- I picked the name out of a hat. And it was a small hat. Too small. Originally, I wanted to call the game "Snake goes outside", but they said that title would be too controversial. Then I just wanted to call it "Outside", but that was too short. So we just picked a random phrase out of a hat.   
  
Questioner- Now, here's a question that might brew up some trouble. Why does Snake have a very ugly mullet? I mean, it's hideous.  
  
Hideo- We wanted to make Snake as repulsive as possible. In fact, we cut scenes out of MGS2 where people saw Snake's hideous mullet, and actually vomit up all over the walls. It was a good scene, but people complained that we used the word "Hell" in it. That's a pretty bad word to use. HBO language.  
  
Questioner- Ok, now back to Snake Eater. You said that Snake goes indoors for some parts of the game, is this true?  
  
Hideo- You know I can't give out any information or facts about the game, because they will slit my throat and set my house on fire if I do, but yes, he does.  
  
Questioner- Here's one word that strikes fear in everyone...Raiden! Is he coming back?  
  
Hideo-Hahahaha, no. Raiden has become the Jar Jar of the MGS games, and so we're killing him.He's not in MGS3 because it takes place in a time period I can't tell you about, the 60's, but in MGS4, we're going to have a huge rock fall on him. It'll be hilarious. We even have a wacky "BONNKKK" sound effect when the rock hits him.   
  
Questioner- Now, Snake eats animals in this game. Care to talk about it?  
  
Hideo- Yes, you must eat to survive. There's much you can eat. Snakes, crocodiles, hippopotamus's, horses, zebras, unicorns, mothra's, and of course, humans.  
  
Questioner- Hippos? Horses? Unicorns? I thought you were going for realism.  
  
Hideo- I assure you, our research is top notch. This jungle landscape will be created perfectly in realism. From the flying hippos that shoot rockets at you, to Robocop who drives around in a hoverscooter. You actually think you're in the area I can't tell you about, Russia.  
  
Questioner- Now, I've been hearing rumours that you're actually not Solid Snake in the game, but Big Boss! Now, can you comment on this.   
  
Hideo- No, I cannot. But yes, he is Big Boss.   
  
Questioner- Wow. Thanks for telling me.  
  
Hideo- I didn't tell you anything, I said no comment about Big Boss being the main character, because he is.  
  
Questioner- You don't know how to answer these 'no comment' questions properly, do you?  
  
Hideo- No. No I don't.  
  
Questioner- Now, is MGS3 going to appear on multiple consoles?  
  
Hideo- I'm not sure yet. GC's getting that other, rehashed port of the first MGS , and X-Box gets nothing really. PC's smell funny. I think it'll just stay on PS2.  
  
Questioner- Can we expect to see any other previous characters in MGS3?  
  
Hideo- Otacon appears as a baby with a machine gun. That's about it.  
  
Questioner- So, is there anyway you can tell us a brief outline of the story?  
  
Hideo- Ok, but this is very, very brief. It's 1967, the cold war is heating up, and there's trouble brewing in the Russian jungles. Big Boss is sent in to infiltrate a Russian Military outpost, but his helicopter is shot down, and he's trapped in the jungle. So now, he has to get back to the base, and survive in the jungle. He manages to kill a few guys, and he gets back to the base. At the base, he defeats the big bad guy, and then they trap him, and clone him. And then it's over. The credits play, and then after the credits, you see them naming one of the clones 'Snake'. You know, I'd like to tell you more, but it has to be very brief.  
  
Questioner- Yeah....brief.  
  
Hideo- Now if you'll execuse me, I have to go create the cutscene where Robocop sings "Come on Eileen" while playing a banjo. Goodbye.  
  
Questioner- Wow. What an interview. I don't even need to play MGS3 anymore. It's going be so good, I think I'm just going to fly my jet over Bermuda Triangle for good luck.  
  
The questioner was never seen again. 


End file.
